The Friendship Fee
by Kaynasou
Summary: ONE SHOT Sheldon is convinced that his friends owe him money for being friends with the brilliant, genius person he is.


_**First BBT Fanfic' please don't be too mean :)**_

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**_Cheesecake Factory_**

"I can't believe none of your friends came!" Amy said, she tried her best to comfort Sheldon as he found himself alone to recieve a prize.

"Arf, Amy, it's ok. I'm sure they just couldn't stand seeing me get my well deserved prize. I think that attenting this would have been a constant reminder that they're not good enough for me" Sheldon said, picking his food with his fork.

"You're not even just a tiny bit worried?" She asked, surprised by his calm.

"Yes, of course I am. But what can I do? I can't just make everyone as smart as me just to spare people's feelings!"

"No, I meant, you're not worried that they might not have come because they didn't care enough about you?"

Sheldon's fork stopped right there. Was it possible? Could Amy be right? Was his amazing brain a barrier between him and his friends? That was something he never considered before.

"I never thought about it that way. Am I such a bad friend that none of my friends woud care to see me get a prize I've work so hard for?" His smile turned upside down, he put is tray on the floor, crossed his arms over the table and burried is head in his arms. He started to sob and Amy couldn't help but feel guilty for even saying anything.

She put a hand on Sheldon's elbow and knew how bad he felt when he didn't pull away or even flinch at her gesture.

"No, Sheldon. You're a great friend. I'm sure, they're just intimidated by your intelligence"

"You're just saying that" He replied, still sobbing

"No. In fact your friends are lucky to have you. You are the only one in the world that is like you. I'm sure tons of people would pay to be friends with you,"

He lifted his head up and looked at her.

"You really mean it?"

She nodded "Yes, You're the nicest person on earth. Very smart and humble. You're perfect! You're modest, handsome, let's not forget hot..."

He cut her off "Yeah, I guess you're right. Amy, you have given me an idea! Let's go home!"

**_Sheldon and Leonard's appartment._**

Sheldon had been on his computer, working on this idea Amy had inspired when Leonard came home.

"Oh, Sheldon! I'm so sorry we couldn't make it. We got..."

"Save it Leonard, I have to tell you something. My lovely girlfriend Amy smartly pointed out how unique a human being I am. And how lucky you all were to have me as a friend"

"Get to the point" Leonard said, getting impatient.

"Well. I have decided to charge you for the benefits of my friendship"

Leonard's eyes widened in annoyance

"Excuse me? The benefits? Ok, look. If it's about tonight, I told you. I'm sorry we just got into..."

"Save your excuses! Lets focus on the important things, shall we? Here is your bill, for all the years I have been your friend. The constant whining about being single and not getting Penny is charged double. You shouldn't abuse of my patience."

"What? You did not seriously write me a bill" He grabs the paper and reads through it "Oh yes you did! What? This is crazy! I'm not giving you that kind of money! If anything, I don't owe you anything! I drive you everywhere, I put up with the thousands of rules of the roommate agreement."

Howard and Raj come in the appartment and Sheldon hands them their bill.

"How about no! Sheldon, I'm not paying to be your friend. I've been looking to pay myself out of this friendship ever since I met you! Plus, I can't afford that" Howard threw the paper away and sat next to Leonard.

Raj looked at Sheldon "Yeah I considering my parents are immensely rich, money is not a problem"

"Ah, finally someone who understands what my friendship is worth"

"Oh, no, I'm not paying that. I'm only friends with you because of Leonard. Paying the bill would mean I chose this friendship and I didn't"

Penny got in and he gave her her bill.

"That's not happening Sheldon!"

"Why is that? You've been stealing our wifi, eating dinner for free everynight. Troubling my sleep with coetus noises. Need I go on?"

"No, I don't owe you anything because I never gave in to the little voice in my head telling me to kill you before you could reproduce. But considering your inexistent sexlife, that's never happening," She lightely pushed him off and sat on the armchair.

"Well I guess that's it. You don't come to see me achieve one of my goals, you refuse to pay your debt? I'm starting to think we've never been friends!"

"We didn't come to your ceremony because Penny entered the wrong address in the GPS and we got lost."

"You're lost without me, aren't you?" Sheldon said, faking a sad expression.

"Where does this friendship fee idea come from, anyway?" Penny inquired

"Amy said there'd..."Sheldon started

"Oh, Amy. But if your friends get this bill. Shouldn't your girlfriend get one too? I mean she gets a more intimate relationship with you. That's rare, almost impossible!"

"Oh my! You are right!"

**_The Next Day, Amy's Appartment_**

"Amy, here's your bill"

"What do you mean? Love is free."

"I'm unique, you have to appreciate the priviledge you have to be involved with me"

"I do appreciate it, but I am unique too. My genes are just as unique as yours. You don't pay for love"

"If it's with me, you do"

"What are you? A no sex hooker? And, this is not what I signed for, litteraly. Our relationship contract never included this. I thought you loved me. We have to be two in relationship. To you, I should be worth a lot to you two, you'll get my bill tomorrow"

"You're right this is insane. I shouldn't have a friendship fee."

"Good, I'm glad you understand how crazy the idea was"

"Heck yeah I do. Pff, you giving a bill. Good one, Amy, good one" He said, he then walked out of the appartment.


End file.
